I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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