i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
