on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
