Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
