normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
