ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
