check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
