you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
