His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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