what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
