At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
