I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
