the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
