You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
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You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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