He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
