I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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