Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
