I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
