All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
