he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
