so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
