I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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