Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
