we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
tell me about the eggs
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
