new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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