Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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