I wanna passion pit in your ass
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
