Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
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WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
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The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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