i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
