There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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