I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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