i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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