$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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