Say something about gay babies.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
