dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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