Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
