Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
only you would photoshop your dick
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
