This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
