life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I bet he comes in French.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize