It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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