all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
