you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
