respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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