Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
