it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
we're making bets on your personal life
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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