your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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