If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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