lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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