Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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