my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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