C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
40s are totally the cure
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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