Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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