I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Randomize
