4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
