Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
