He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I did not marry a roomba.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
