He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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