Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
