dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Congratulations! We have a period
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