Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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