i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
