We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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