Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
God, you're like boner-b-gone
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
