I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize